I think reminiscing about travels can be uplifting. Here’s one of my cherished memories — and I’d love to hear your memorable travel stories too.
It was the summer of 2008, and I was in the living room of my B&B in Haarlem, a suburb of Amsterdam, chatting with my hosts, Hans and Marjet. As I reached for my Heineken, I noticed it was resting on a pamphlet created by the Dutch government aimed at educating sex workers about safe sex. After flipping through it, I remarked to Hans, “It’s both artistic and explicit.”
“It’s Victoria without the secret,” he said playfully.
“Isn’t this shocking to many?” I inquired.
“Only to the British and the Americans,” he answered. “This is Holland. Just last night, we watched a local documentary that was quite graphic about body piercing—showing everything. A week ago, there was a feature on the Kama Sutra, highlighting sexual flexibility I had never witnessed. To us Dutch, these were just regular documentaries… not a big deal. They might be blockbuster material in the U.S.”
“I’m not sure,” I replied, realizing that I was more intrigued by the handbook than by Hans. “But can you guess what my website’s most popular page is? A silly article comparing the two sex museums in Amsterdam.”
“Here, sex isn’t clickbait. It’s not a taboo,” Marjet explained. “But we’re not irresponsible with it either. The teen pregnancy rate in the Netherlands is half that of the United States.”
Staying at a B&B helps me save money. Plus, I find that my hosts often understand human nature across cultures and enjoy sharing their insights. They offer me a closer view of a culture that I wouldn’t get from a hotel front desk.
This holds true for Hans and Marjet, who encourage their guests to feel right at home. In their living room, adorned with cozy chairs, overflowing bookshelves, quirky antiques, and an upright piano covered in worn sheets of music, it feels truly welcoming.
Hans and Marjet occupy three rooms and rent out five. Hans would prefer more room. Like the others on their street, he could enclose his small backyard, but he wouldn’t trade his beautiful little garden for anything. Bringing me another beer, he asked, “How long are you staying this time?”
“Not long enough,” is my usual answer. I’m Hans’ favorite American guest. He’s on a mission to help me unwind and take things slower. To him, I embody the typical, schedule-driven American.
Hans gives more insights into the cultural differences among their guests. “We Dutch find ourselves in the middle,” he shares. “We have the efficiency of the Germans—which is why many American companies thrive here—but we strive to live more like the French.”
“And we enjoy joking like the British,” adds Marjet. “We all admire the British wit. We often watch BBC comedies.”
Hans also notices differing breakfast behaviors among guests. “Americans prefer directness and guidance. Europeans—especially Germans—know what they want. The French, however, take their time. But Americans quickly open up and make connections. Europeans tend to maintain their personal space, even without language barriers, during breakfast.”
Pointing to their two dining tables, he continues, “If there are Germans here and Americans there, I often break the ice. I introduce the Americans to the Germans with a light-hearted remark: ‘No worries, they left their guns in the States.’ We Dutch may resemble Germans, but we have a knack for humor.”
Returning to our discussion on cultural attitudes toward sexuality, Marjet says to Hans, “Tell Rick the story of ‘Dutch boys on the English beach.’ This body awareness might be overwhelming for Americans, but it makes the English blush.”
“As a boy, I went to England with a friend,” Hans recalled. “We changed our clothes on the beach without using a towel—no big deal for us. There were many retired Brits around, enjoying the fresh air and their soggy sandwiches. When my friend began to change into his swimsuit, everyone turned their heads away. Amused by our ability to divert the English crowd, we did it again. I pulled my pants down, and heads turned away once more.”
Marjet laughed as if hearing this tale for the first time, saying, “We don’t encounter many English people at our beaches.”
“Most of our guests are Americans,” Hans replied.
“We would love to have our home filled exclusively with Americans,” Marjet expresses. “They are easy to connect with and very open. Americans taught me how to articulate my thoughts and feelings.”
Hans jumps in with a playful impression of Tony the Tiger, saying, “Oh wow, this is grrreat! You have such a grrreat home!”
“Americans can be easily surprised,” adds Marjet.
“The English really don’t know how to be surprised,” responds Hans.
“I think you nearly surprised them at the beach,” remarks Marjet. “On our trip to Colorado, I found my experience improved when I remembered to say ‘wow’ a few times each day.”
Nestled comfortably in the sofa corner, her legs tucked beneath her petite frame, Marjet describes, “When an American asks, ‘How are you?’ we respond with ‘Okay’ to mean ‘good.’ The American then reacts, ‘That doesn’t sound very good.’ We then clarify, ‘We’re European.’”
Hans adds, “Then the American responds, ‘Oh, right—you’re being honest.’”
Intrigued by America’s cheerful insincerity, Marjet observes, “In the US, even the shopping bags have large ‘smile and be a winner’ messages.”
“That’s true,” I concur. “Only in America would you find a bank that penalizes employees if they don’t tell each customer to ‘Have a nice day.’”
Hans comments, “Did you know that Dutch workers are highly sought after at Disneyland Paris? This is because most Dutch people are very open-minded. They can smile throughout the day, and we can speak multiple languages.”
Marjet explains, “In Holland, when someone inquires, ‘Do you speak your languages?’ they are asking: Do you know French, German, and English, along with Dutch?”
Hans continues, “To us, being friendly might be less tiring than it is for the French. Can you picture a French person smiling all day long?”
Hans pours me another glass of Heineken. “God created the whole world and it was magnificent. But France… it was just too perfect. So, He added the French to bring some balance.”
“Canada could have had it all: British culture, French cuisine, and American expertise,” says Marjet.
“But they miscalculated and ended up with British food, French expertise, and American culture.”
As I ascend the steep Dutch stairs to my loft bedroom, I reflect on the importance of traveling friends. The day’s most unforgettable experiences happened once I was finished with my sightseeing.
